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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23573800">escape velocity</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/me_before_ow/pseuds/me_before_ow'>me_before_ow</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Broken [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Trek</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst with a Happy Ending, Confusion, M/M, Misunderstandings, Pon Farr, but no smut, no one knows what happened</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 20:55:09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,618</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23573800</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/me_before_ow/pseuds/me_before_ow</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Jim and Spock broke up (occurs after broken is my normal). They are both struggling to find out why.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>James T. Kirk/Spock</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Broken [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1675045</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>24</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Just under a month ago, Spock and Jim would have cuddled in one of their rooms, under the stars. It had been exactly 5 years since they began their relationship. Nothing had ever come in between them. *Why now?* Jim thought, *Why us?*</p><hr/><p>On February 27th, as of the preferred Terran calendar, Spock and Jim has shore leave. On February 27, they had copulated endlessly (for 3.1 hours), until Jim was exhausted. On February 27, James Tiberius Kirk broke S’chn T’gai Spock’s heart.</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Kid, are you ok?” Bones asked gruffly, concerned about Jim’s mental health. “ I know what happened between you and Spock. I know it’s hard to let go, but sometimes you have to. I know—“</p><p>”You don’t know a damn thing!”</p><p>”Enlighten me.”</p><p>”If you want to make sure the ship is running ‘efficiently,’ trust me, it is. I have nothing to distract me from my work.”</p><p>”Was that all he was? A distraction?” Bones asked, going into full-Freudian mode</p><p>”No!... Stars, I loved him.” The last half was barely a whisper. “I loved him, but I don’t think he loved me.” For the first time during the 5 year mission, Jim cried. “I wouldn’t go so low as to beg him to come back, but I want to. I—“ his voice broke, “I got so used to him being there, that I guess I forgot how it was without him.”</p><p>Bones’ heart broke. He knew that feeling. After Jocelyn had walked out of his life, with their baby girl, he felt that pain. “It’s not going to be ok for some time, now.” That drew a wistful laugh from Jim, “You may not move on completely, but you have to accept that sometimes you can’t be with the person you need to be with the most.”</p><p>”I accepted that fact the day he said he couldn’t do this anymore. I’m afraid I’ll completely cut him out of my life if I try to move on. I sound like a masochist, but I’d rather hurt, and be able to make sure he’s ok, than to destroy what little we have left.”</p><p>”I think he’ll understand your need for space right now.”</p><p>”How long can I keep him at arms length before we fall apart? How long can we pretend like what we had never happened? How long can we walk on eggshells for?” Jim’s voice was gradually getting louder, his breath ragged.</p><p>Bones just stared at him, unable to say anything consoling. “I’m sorry,” he told Jim, and he really was.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Spock walked into the Mess Hall, replicating his food and then going to sit at Nyota’s table. They had a brief relationship, which hadn’t interfered with their platonic association. As Spock sat down, Nyota glanced up at him, analyzing his posture and body language. Spock was reminded of the time he spent in laboratories as a toddler, having multiple tests run on him, but Nyota’s analysis of him didn’t make him uncomfortable. Before Spock could explain his demeanor, Nyota  told him, “ You can’t keep this up. You are visibly hurting because of Kirk, and, I hate to be the one to tell you this, but it interferes with your social interactions, which affect the entire crew.” Spock remained silent, his eyes on his Plomeek. “Do you want to talk? It doesn’t have to be with the counselor. You could talk to me, or someone you are more comfortable with.”</p><p>After a pregnant pause, Spock started speaking. “Jim was a nice man, and he is a caring man, but I do not think he is the right man. I care for him, but to know that he thinks little of me is... a horrifying prospect that I do not wish to deal with.” <br/>Nyota, and the rest of the crew, was puzzled by whatever occurred. No one knew what happened, and the betting pool was going berserk over their breakup. Wanting to understand what happened, Nyota asked, “What did he say?”</p><p>Spock gave Nyota a glance, knowing that she wouldn’t understand. “It wasn’t what he said.”</p><p>Nyota was thoroughly confused, but started to theorize. “So he ... thought something?”</p><p>”That, combined with his actions.” Spock looked younger than he was, the obvious emotion in his eyes making him look 20.</p><p>Nyota, continuing her train of thought, asked, “Was it about Pon Farr?” She knew she had ‘struck gold,’ when Spock didn’t answer. “Ok... and?”</p><p>”I explained how Pom Farr would make me little more than a beast, and his mind was utterly repulsed. It was the most uniform his mind has ever been.” <br/>“He’s new to relationships, so knowing that you will be in full control is... unnerving.”</p><p>”Do you not see, it’s me, not him. I am the one who will cause him distress. I am the one who will hurt him. I cannot deal with that. That was why I <em>had to</em> end our association. Additionally, knowing that, he would not accept me in Pon Farr. I cannot rape him, for rape is unforgivable.”</p><p>”If you want to make it better, talk to him about it. That’s a start to getting to a understanding of each other.”</p><p>Spock took her advice under consideration.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Kudos and comments (especially concrit) are appreciated.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Shared bridge shifts were awkward. Where there was once chatter, there was now a silence. Somehow, Spock knew it was because of the Breakup. When Spock entered a room that Jim was in, suddenly everyone had something more important than the person sitting next to them. Spock had never felt so out of place in Starfleet before. He wanted to leave the Enterprise so badly, but he couldn’t leave Jim. So he stayed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Spock’s efficiency improved by 12%, which was the biggest increase he had since he joined Starfleet. However, no matter how hard he tried to deny it, his emotional state had hit rock bottom, and he had no one.</span>
</p><hr/><p>
  <em>
    <span>4 weeks, 2 days later</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Something was wrong, very wrong. The Romulans were attacking Enterprise, and Spock couldn’t breathe. He knew this wasn’t a panic attack, so what was it? The world was closing in, when it hit him. Pon Farr. This was bad news. He knew he would only wish Jim to be there, but Jim had other duties to attend to, and Jim wouldn’t wish to have Spock. “Spock to McCoy”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“McCoy here. Make it quick.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I need you to lock me in my room. There isn’t much time. You know of Pon Farr?” Spock asked expectantly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I am going through my first one, and I don’t know how strong it will be. Lock me in my room, and </span>
  <em>
    <span>no matter what I say </span>
  </em>
  <b>
    <em>do not let me out</em>
  </b>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“When did it start?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ve had symptoms since last week. The heat should pass in a few days, and I should be able to return to my duties next week.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Firstly, you will not be returning to your duties until two weeks from today. At </span>
  <em>
    <span>least</span>
  </em>
  <span>. And, also, I will be keeping scans on you. You will get food every 8 hours. Am I missing anything?” McCoy asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t think so.”</span>
</p><hr/><p>
  <span>There was yearning. So much yearning. Spock always assumed Pon Farr was just sexual, but he had never felt this much emotional… pain. He had started a log, just so he knew what he did. He wanted Jim so bad. He knew, by the stillness of the ship and by looking through his window that the Romulans had stopped attacking and that the Enterprise was on route to… Vulcan? It must be the Pon Farr affecting his mind, because Vulcan was nowhere close to their planned path.</span>
</p><hr/><p>
  <span>“Jim,” Bones asked, “Do you know if Spock is bonded?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No,” Jim said defensively, “we were… planning on being bonded but that fell through. But I know for a fact that he wasn’t bonded to anyone else. Why?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s bad news,” Bones said. “I am only telling you this, because there is some chance to help my patient.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Suddenly Jim felt a very sharp yearning. “What do you mean?” he asked, barely able to keep the tears out of his eyes. *Why am I feeling this way? Literally, nothing is wrong.*</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So-Well- Spock is going through Pon Farr right now. Do you know what that is?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah. We talked about it before…” Jim trailed off. That yearning came back, stronger.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, I don’t know if you know this, but Spock needs to have sex with his bondmate, but, because of his unique physiology, he wouldn’t die from not following through. Obviously, if you are going thI need to check that you are his bondmate, so I have a few questions to ask you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Um, ok. I do want to help him, but I seriously doubt that he’d want me. He broke up with me, after all.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You do realize that Pon Farr is set off by hormonal imbalances that are set off by romantic love in Vulcans. If those feelings stop, the onset of Pon Farr will stop. That means he would still have romantic love for you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But it could just be remnant emotions.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If it was, then the bond you may or may not have with him would have ‘withered’ and he wouldn’t go into Pon Farr.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But what if I don’t love him?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Same thing would have happened.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So how will you test to see if I have a bond with him?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Since I have his biometric data on my PADD, I will just compare his spikes in brain activity to yours, and if they match, you most likely have a bond.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ok…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>After 7 minutes of Bones monitoring the bio-data, he came out of his office. “Jim. Congratulations, you two have a bond.”</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>What'll Jim do?</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>The end!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“So? Would I have to… go through with Pon Farr with Spock?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course not. If you feel uncomfortable, you shouldn’t do it. If you do it, however, I must warn you that he may hurt you. Unintentionally of course, but if I see something weird with your bio-signs, I will beam you out of there. Ok?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jim shrugged, still confused. If Spock loved him, then why, oh why did they break up? Jim felt the yearning stronger than ever, so strong it hurt. “Ok, I will go through with it. However,” Jim paused, “he won’t be able to express himself, right? Like, if he didn’t feel comfortable or something, he still would be… in the heat and unable to tell me no, right?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bones, realizing what Jim was thinking quickly said, “Oh, no. If he didn’t feel comfortable, he would be able to tell you. He’s able to think and express his emotions, but they’re just much stronger and he’s unable to stop them from coming out. You would physically be unable to force him to do anything he wouldn’t want.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And if I felt uncomfortable?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Same thing. Because of the bond you share, your discomfort would become his discomfort and then he wouldn’t go through with whatever.” Jim was thinking about everything he and Spock had, but also of nothing in particular. Bones spoke up, his tone softer, “Hey, kid, you alright?” Jim just nodded. “Give me a hug,” Bones said, as he hugged Jim, “no matter if you do or don’t choose to go through with Spock during Pon Farr, make sure you’re doing whatever makes you feel comfortable. ‘K Jim?” Jim nodded again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ok, I feel like I am… comfortable enough to experience Pon Farr with him. I just hope we are on good terms after this.” Bones nodded, as Jim walked out the door.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wait!” Bones yelled, “When you enter, check the drawer next to the entrance, Jim!”</span>
</p><hr/><p>
  <span>When Jim stood outside the room, he realized he had forgotten to ask Bones to unlock the door. “Kirk to McCoy.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“McCoy here.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Bones, I need you to open the door.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, darn, give me a second.” After a pause Bones spoke up again, “it should be opened in 10 seconds. When you enter, I will lock the door, ok? If you want to be beamed out of there, then… tap your feet together 3 times and say ,’there’s no place like home’ and I’ll beam you out”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“‘K Bones.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jim entered the room, and the first thing he noticed was the smell. The air was very thick. The doors whooshed shut behind him. Then he saw Spock, the most disheveled he had ever been. His hair was all over the place, he was sweaty, had tears on his face, and was curled up into a tight ball. “Hey Spock,” Jim said in a quiet and caring tone, “I’m here.” Spock turned his head, and Jim felt a sharp jolt of… lovewantcanthaveforeverthyla. Jim felt awkward for a moment, then realized he should be helping Spock. Jim removed his shoes and socks, and his overshirt, leaving him in all black. He then climbed into the bed next to Spock. Tears were running down Spock’s face. Jim hugged him tightly. “I love you so much,” Jim said, “and I’m sorry for whatever I did.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Spock made the first noise that he made since he entered the room. “It wasn’t your fault, Jim.” Spock said, stressing Jim’s name. Spock put his nose on Jim’s shoulder and just breathed in. “Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim.” he repeated, kissing Jim’s shoulder every time he said his name. The “I love you too,” went unsaid. The two of them laid in that position, just holding each other, for what felt like hours.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jim pulled away for a second, “Spock, you said that you would be out of control and that this would be… very sexual.” Jim trailed off, but Spock understood it to be a question.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not controlling my emotions, if that was what you were asking. I just want you here, next to me. It’s… extremely sexual for most Vulcans, but I don’t… feel sexual at the moment. Do you want it to be sexual?” Jim just shook his head, kissed Spock, and they returned to cuddling, kissing in between. They fell asleep in that position.</span>
</p><hr/><p>
  <span>For the next few days, Spock and Jim would spend their time cuddling, making out, or making love, although the latter occurred only a few times. The last day of Spock’s Pon Farr made his emotions very strong, and, well Jim had a little trouble sitting down for a few days. Jim realized he had forgotten to check the top drawer at the entrance as Bones had asked him to. He looked inside, to see an assortment of… toys, and lots of lube.</span>
</p><hr/><p>
  <span>Jim returned to the bridge 4 days before Spock did, but everyone had noticed their joint absence. Uhura just smiled when Jim walked on the bridge, giving a look to Scotty, which Jim understood to mean that she knew. The mood on the ship was much better, with more people laughing and talking in Jim’s presence than they had been 2 weeks prior. But Jim knew that none of them. Not even Bones, knew the big news.</span>
</p><hr/><p>
  <span>When Spock returned to duty 4 days later, everyone noticed a change. They didn’t talk much. Everyone was confused. Did they not get back together? Their questions were all answered at 1250 hours. Jim came on the comm. “Hey everyone! Um, I have some news for all of you. Before you all prepare for some catastrophe, I will say it is good news. Well, um, it might seem abrupt to all of you, but… Spock and I are not married men. Well, by Vulcan standards. However, we will be getting married officially in 2 weeks.” There was cheering on the bridge, and, although some people were shocked, everyone on the Enterprise was happy for them.</span>
</p>
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